By the time you read this, summer would be well and truly gone. with the air becoming dry and leaves probably golden, crispy and beginning to fall off. All marking the end of a glorious summer. A summer I began a journey to find a better version of myself via believe it or not- Instagram
You might have guessed it already, this is not a typical fashiony post, not to worry my life revolves around fashion so you will not be totally disappointed.
This year by no choice of my own I found myself with more free time than I would have ever dreamt of. As nature however would have it, I was not necessarily on holiday, but off sick...... And for a scary considerable length of time.
Enough to become engrossed with instagram and all its ills.
While on a routine browsing session, I discovered Luckythings blog..
Shall we say I wasn't feeling terribly lucky at this point , rather depressed and resentful. But I could take a laugh. So I started reading the posts and behold I met Sunita.
As a well groomed introvert, who loved my own company, it suddenly dawned on me for the first time, that while in my sick bed with hardly a text or phone call from anyone I didn't share a DNA with asking if I was dead yet.
Surprise of all surprises, I realized .... I was lonely.
Yes!!!! on my little but chic man made island I was totally lonely.
As a measure I decided to buy a ticket to one of the lucky things meet up and try socializing!!!!!!!!
So roll up to the first event, I became aware while pissing my self that ,
# I was Nervous as fook.
# I did't know what on earth to talk about to anyone-(I decided medicine, Jeremy Cunt, weather, children, childcare would all not be mentioned tonight)
# I had no idea how to behave in a non work /family environment.
#I had over the years become an expert at zoning people and voices out that I now had to learn quickly, in minutes, how to zone in....as blimey at the event you had to ask people questions and fooking talk about your impression etc...
# I had zero confidence in my clearly non existent social skills.......
Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about an inferiority complex. No, this was a case of zero confidence with strangers outside my comfort zone....
I walked into the first event, met the nicest Brown eyed girl, she took my hand and walked me into the meeting, stood by my side for a few good minutes.......
Was it easy?
Not at all, I knew my husband was sitting in the car outside but I decided I would give it a go. I would try being the sort of person I want my children to become. Confident in any social circle, friendly and able to make and keep friends.
I stayed that night and I've been back twice more.
Back to the lucky things meet ups ie , not on a date with the girl, blimey what sort of blog do you think this is.
What did I learn from these events?
Today I value myself first, through regular self appraisals, I pick on things that I am proud of and praise myself.
I am not shy to say to myself ; you are a tough cookie, sexy as fook and strong.
I deserve that compliment and I accept it.
I watch my words carefully and ensure I use positive words which gradually I am beginning to believe.
How has my social life changed?
Shall we say I started the summer of '17 not attending any event I could possibly avoid and ended the summer plugging a social event on my Instagram page..
Don't get me wrong, attending a small picnic almost ended the whole process as I could't exactly hide behind a journal taking notes etc But boy am I glad I gave it a go...
So to the girl with the kind brown eyes who drew me into the room while I muttered something about benign essential tremors, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for your philanthropy, as thats what your events really are about, helping women find and become more confident better versions of themselves.
And to Instagram for bringing women together...
Summer of '17 you were a blast......
Rejina Pyo dress, Golden goose Deluxe kicks, Stella McCartney Sunnies, Vintage Gucci Bag, Vintage Earrings, Vegetable bag from Ebay.
Location ;Hackney East London
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